| note to self |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|09:08 pm] |
strumming my pain with his fingers,
singing my life with his words.
killing me softly with his song.
why do i always put myself in such a position? fml. |
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| FREEDOM BODOH...soon. |
[Nov. 21st, 2009|05:41 pm] |
one word to summarise my a levels experience: FUCK.
so yeah a bad question to ask would be how are a's.haha. right now i don't wanna think about it anymore. one last paper on monday and then i am free. i'll leave the worries till march next year and then live with whatever hits me on that dreadful day.
out with the old and in with the new. the sad part is, that phrase applies to my worries too. |
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| 37 days and counting... |
[Oct. 3rd, 2009|10:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  FUCK!!!! | ] |
more like counting down. i don't believe it seriously. 37 days left and i can have a bad day like today. one word. FUCK.
the pain grips you so hard that you can't even cry out.
it pulsates through your body, accompanied by an uncontrolled shiver.
your head is spinning, your sweat is pouring down your face.
"FUCKKKK!!!" resounds through your head.
you sleep momentarily.
you wake up....and it starts again.
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| where did i go wrong? |
[Sep. 23rd, 2009|11:04 pm] |
it's one of those times where you think too much and coincidentally one of our songs play. it seems like we're more interconnected by a twist of fate than we actually want,fortunately or unfortunately.
step one, you say we need to talk,
he walks.
you say sit down, it's just to talk.
he smiles politely back at you,
you smile politely right on through.
why can't i bring myself to smile?
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| together in electric dreams! |
[Sep. 21st, 2009|10:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
today was a good day! HAHAHA. happy happy happy!
karen's birthday lunch. though she and zen took soooo long to come, it was still a good lunch in the end. NUM((: hahahaha. the founder's day thing is still on. ooh so tempting so tempting. i like the wheelock outlet((: then i bought nicole's presents(macaroons and specialtiy chocolate) and then rushed down to bartley. in the end only diana was there all alone. we had to freaking hide from nicole. felt like some mission impossible thing or a lame game of hide and seek. but nah we didn't get found out. the hilarious part was us going to the wrong house with the cake. it was fucking funny!
CHOMPS for dindin was awesomeee. we ate like pigs. chicken wings, stingray, kang kong,lala and hokkien mee topped with a MEGA LARGE sugarcane with lemon. fuck sia. i feel fat but who cares?all in the name of good food. then we hunted for a dessert place but to no avail so we ended up heading back to nicole's to make our own dessert. good stuff good stuff.
i am so proud of myself. whatever coins i have i am going to dump it into this makeshift piggy bank. it's killing two birds with one stone! it lightens my wallet plus I GET TO SAVE! yay! hahaha.
fuck i am tired. |
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| past,present,future tense? |
[Sep. 18th, 2009|08:14 pm] |
It sucks to feel helpless. Especially when you desperately want to help. Am i being stupid? Making myself available as much as i can, wanting to be the one to be there for you as much as i can? I feel under appreciated. But then again, i tend to read too much into things. To break away or to remain in a 2 and a half year comfort zone? i don't know what to do. I want you but do you want me too? I am scared to find out the answer to that question. I just don't want to be used.
how do you break something that's already been broken? |
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| your eyes are the size of the moon's. |
[Sep. 18th, 2009|12:19 am] |
today was just a stone,bum around,stone day.
finished paper at 9. breakfasted with miss hons and zens and sins. then went to mills. what a great way to celebrate the end of prelims. woohooo! ahaha. but i was feeling under the weather anyways. met wee there who was doing her physics mcq. it's okay pengz! you'll end in a few hours. okay a lot of hours but still. time will pass fast fast!
denise was studying there too. aiyo somebody is terrible. PON SCHOOL. tsk tsk. hurhur. yeah so i slept, then watched stomp the yard(naiice!) on my ipod. then i disturbed denise a little and clarified whatever she needed to know about halogen derivatives. you know something?watching stomp the yard makes me wanna go to uni and that makes me wanna study so super hard for my A's. which is what i am going to do starting tml. must go buy all the tys! well i finished chem tys for my LUEs so yeah no harm in doing it again is there?hurhur.
then man and alex dropped by mills. they tried to downblouse me and were checking out my bald spot. STALKERS! hahaha. yeah so they studied. or tried to study?then CI arrived! woohooo! dinner was a nice affair! yeah then walked to bras with man since he had time to kill. bad boy ponned raymonds. terrible!
this is a pointless post. ahh fuck. |
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| loopz ftw! |
[Sep. 16th, 2009|09:26 pm] |
woots! had a loopz reunion today! hurhur. unintended actually. it was just me,wee and millz. then deb came along. thans for not recognising me deb!"who's this ij girl?and what is she doing with an sa person? OOOH WEENA! OMG MAR!" thanks deb. you awesome. so wee and i practiced mcqs and i totally exceeded my time. hurhur. got a B for the sa one? so i guess i will be failing tml's paper cos i have to do it in like half the time. hurhur.
and i should be studying now but hurhur. slack mode now! can't wait for tml 9am!!! hee hee hee! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|11:29 pm] |
fucking tired. red eyes. heavy head.bitter heart. naiice.
econs was fuck. chem was good. prelims overall fucked. |
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| my life would suck without you |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|09:32 pm] |
it's just one more hectic day! and another 1 hour paper and IT'S OVERRRR...for now.
Cause we belong together now, yeah.
Forever united here somehow, yeah.
You got a piece of me, and honestly,
my life would suck without you.
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| true dat! |
[Sep. 13th, 2009|11:26 pm] |
How did you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'll never let you back in.
I should have known better,
than trying to let you go cos here we go, go go again.
Hard as i try i know i can't quit.
Something about you is so addictive.
We're falling together, you think that by now i'd know,
cos here we go go go again.
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 6th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
it's been awhile. as always. nothing new. mugging all the same. it's time to start retaining econs in my brain so i can come up with 3 brilliant essays to salvage my econs grades.
miss you.wanna kiss you.
hanging out with badminton mates is da bomb! i miss regi's insane laugh and tendancy to abuse. i miss nicole's cameras and constant talk about man u and federer(realize we always oppose each other?) i miss lee ah pui's unglam moments. i miss bullying kiddy. I MISS IJ!
so much has changed. i wonder if i have lost my old self. when people change, do they regain who they used to be? or is that part of them just a small insignificant part of history?hmmm...i wonder.
badminton training or econs? we all know the politically correct answer. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2009|09:40 pm] |
i need to do something about this not being able to sleep thing.; having too much on your mind is really a bitch. fuck. needa let it out before i implode!
come on i have done this once before, i can do it again. |
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| 831, it's a lie. |
[Aug. 25th, 2009|10:19 pm] |
You know when you have those days when suddenly life just hits you smack,hard in the face and you're caught off guard and you somehow aren't able to muster up all the strength in you to eradicate the pain that comes with the blow? if you know what i am talking about, then just so you know, i feel your pain.
It's completely ironic how the radio was singing to me "Love is a wonderful thing" and in my head i am thinking "is it really? right now love is a lie." the irony of it all. and there i was sitting in the car just letting my mind wander freely when usually i get a chokehold on it so as not to let myself hurt me. it's strange isn't it? how do i protect myself from myself? food for thought. And the worst part, i felt so alone today. like i was so vulnerable that the world can just harm me in so many different ways. i let my guard down already, so now everything can just come straight at me. it's disgusting how life saps you of all your energy and still has the cheek to attack you even at your weakest? Has life no mercy at all? but then again, what if it is how you perceive life to be. it all leads back to the inner-self battle and how you are actually harming yourself. I've got to be strong, because only then am i able to be strong for others. I need to step up and face life no matter how hard it is. I can and i will.
channel everything to studies.
AAAAA!
SMU LAW!
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 23rd, 2009|10:09 pm] |
eat,sleep,breathe chem math and econs.
take one breath in...(preciptation occurs when QSP>KSP)
breathe out.
breathe in...(trade policies! quotas in place of tariffs..or the other way around?FUCCCKK.)
breathe out.
breathe in...(math?whats math?fuck math.no can do...)
that's literally what i have to do. nobody breathes in just oxygen anymore.(act nobody did breathe in just oxygen but wtf) the moral of the story is, students are surviving on studies! it's become a part of our lives.fuck! but to do well in life, you gotta study. it's a vicious cycle. they're complements really. the truth hurts bitches.
it was funny to see deb doing homework today! she couldn't do anything! gwen was helping her a lot cos it was math. damn funny sia!
and i have a great fallback plan for uni, just in case. law is still main focus here but just in case.
i can't wait till the 23rd of November. |
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| studying! my new peng you! |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|11:45 am] |
ZOMG. yeah it's been awhile since i've posted something. and frankly i have nothing to post.
everyday activities:
1) STUDYING
2)studying
3)Studying
4) sTUDYING
5)StUdYiNg
6)sTuDyInG
7) ah fuck you get my driftt.
i've pulled through some pretty tough shit of late but studying has become my new best friend. i even woke up at 630 this morning thinking i had school...thank god my brain(saturated with chem and math) decided to go blank and i just fell back to sleep.
heading to mills today! i'm ready for a marathon baby! it's time to meet my new best friend again(: |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2009|12:12 am] |
and this is where i know i belong!
it's a little sad how like only during national, you develop that hyped up highness and enthusiasm in celebrating the birthday of your nation but on other days you just disregard her. on the bright side though, at least singaporeans come together on one day to celebrate. but then again, not all enjoy it or are as enthusiastic. oh wells. i love my country enough! though education is a bitch, singaporean's are successful aren't they? haha!
the celebrations were rather fun! our hamper was a little retarded and so was our montage but oh wells. it was fun making it! and sins and miss hon were sabo-ed on stage! they did the don't forget the lyrics thing and i was at the bottom of the stage providing them with the missing lyrics. thank god for vietnam where somehow i memorised the lyrics to where i belong. hahaha! seeing the two of them up there was just hilarious.
THANKS SINS FOR TOTALLY VIOLATING ME. love you many many!
studied in school with zens and sweens before heading to toa payoh to eat a late lunch and study at mos. mos was a heart to heart session rather than a study session luh! and i learnt not to look down on srjc standard! their paper hard sia! the 2007 one at least. I MUST FINISH THE WHOLE PAPER TML. i only did paper two, and only the stuff i know sia. bad bad bad. but did normal distribution today! must perfect my stats and then i can catch up on pure maths and i am on my way to an A baby! i love my positivity!
headed over to andy's at around 7 plus for class BBQ! cooking is fun yow! there was an unfortunate turn of events but oh wells. thanks bros and babes for trying to cheer me up! I LUBB CHEWKZZ PEOPLESSS! hope you liked the food! i cleaned up the sotong and the stingray after most people had left. SHIOK BODOH! hahaha!
now i am mother fucking tired and smell of bbq. my eyes burn and i need to compose something. ciaoz peeps! |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 6th, 2009|10:41 pm] |
just fuck off and die. seriously. please please please. just get out of my head, get out of my mind,get out of my life.
it's hard to forget if it's constantly rubbed in your face!
just forget the past, because it's not worth remembering.
i wish i could say "I HATE YOU" and move on with life,
but i know i don't hate you and i can't hate you.
but i have to admit that you hurt me every single fucking day.
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 5th, 2009|09:43 pm] |
Oh what a mess,
You got the best of my heart, it broke.
And now it's just a joke cos you're moving right along,
i'm still here and you're gone.
wow...that song brings back memories of secondary school. i still remember, sec 3 leadership camp. I miss ij.
fucking unproductive day. piss me off. pfft! fuck this shit.
from tml, 21 days to prelims and 96 days to A levels.
met germs at united starbucks for awhile. shaun and JESSE QUEK were there too. wow...seeing jesse at starbucks macs reminds me of mugging for promos while he was mugging for A's. I SHOULD BE MUGGING TOO,FUCK!
CONFIDENCE,CALMNESS, POSTIVE.
CONTINUE, LIKE IT, HAVE A CRUSH ON IT.
math,chem and econs. what's not to like? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2009|09:37 pm] |
OMG! SIRHAN FREAKING GOT SWINE FLU! it's amazing how we didn't get it from him even though we were with him the day before he caught it. and he was seriously crazy today. like the babi flu fried his brains or something because he was really high, and retarded and OMG.
sirhan: marissa...is my hair like yours? it is right? see see? HAHAHAHA. i have your hair! we have the same hair!
and when i saw him at the bus stop he like immediately smile damn big and wave frantically and pointed to his hair. HAHAHA. it was damn funny! the ruggers are like i've said before, the epitome of retardedness.
omg and haresh!!
jeg:see haresh? this is the calamnity of your incompetence.
haresh: ehhh! isn't calamnity when your hands feel wet and slimy?
us: OMG HARESH! THAT IS CLAMMY!
me and sweeney freaking laugh our asses off luh!srsly.
( SCHOOL SUCKS TAKE DRUGS )
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